


Love Takes Time

by HevKomLezkru



Category: Original Work
Genre: 30 Something, Based on a Dream, Best Friends, Bisexual, Coming Out, Coming of Age, Eventual Sex, Eventual Smut, F/F, Fluff, Girlfriends - Freeform, Happy Ending?, High School, Lesbian, Love, Love Story, Original work - Freeform, Slow Burn, Smart Girls, Sweet, Teen Romance, Test of Time, friendship turn romance, long distance, wlw
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-12-06
Packaged: 2021-03-08 21:28:11
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27003544
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/HevKomLezkru/pseuds/HevKomLezkru
Summary: Eliza and Sawyer bonded in AP chemistry 18 years ago.  Follow their friendship as it begins, blossoms, spans time and space, and transforms into something they’ve both been yearning for.My hope is to try to update with new chapters weekly!
Relationships: Eliza/Sawyer
Comments: 3
Kudos: 1





	1. Chapter 1

Eighteen years ago Eliza Clark and Sawyer Charles were in the same AP chemistry class. They had known each other in some capacity for the entirety of their high school careers, but never really interacted other than the occasional smile or casual “hello” in the hallway. They knew several of the same people, and had overlapping friends, yet had never shared an honest moment between them. So it was in their senior year, the two girls had found themselves lab partners in their 7th period science class. Despite not really talking prior, the pair had an air about them that was never forced, which usually resulted in a sense of contentment. This was  
something that they would come to find was true across the board, and also across time.

Eliza was part of the school’s magnet program, whose classes sometimes overlapped with the general student population. She was quiet, smiled frequently, literally was a genius, and played the flute. She had shoulder length hair the color of dark chocolate, always worn straight down, which complemented her eyes that were just a few shades lighter. She switched between glasses and contacts, but both seemed fitting. Her creamy complexion had just a hint of caramel, making many speculate about her ethnic origins, yet no one could quite reach a conclusion. There was a hint of quiet mystery all wrapped up in her 5’2” petite frame, that if one stopped to notice they would have surely fallen down that rabbit hole. However, Eliza was not in the habit of being noticed. She actually took great care to not draw attention to herself. She kept her head down, usually in a book, and she liked it that way.

Sawyer was also a smart girl, or at least she’d tell everyone she played one on TV. This is because Sawyer was a goofball first, a good student second, and herself last. She got along with almost every group or clique, including teachers. She took AP classes and some college courses in high school, so she got on well with the brainiacs from the magnet program and the nerds from her peer group. She played basketball and was on the swim team, but didn’t really excel at either, despite lettering in both. However, that gave her an “in” with all the jocks. She was in art club, not because she was super creative or artistic, but because the teacher who started it needed warm bodies her freshman year to keep the club funded. She found the activities as entertaining as the the people were, so she stayed and found friends amongst those who appreciate the arts. Sawyer was Switzerland; well known, decent reputation, sided with no one, or sided with everyone. The problem for this basic, blonde haired, blue-eyed, size medium, everyday average girl was that despite knowing everyone no one knew her. 

So on their first day of AP chem, when the other students sat by friends or teammates, both of them had made their way to the back of the classroom. Eliza, to be less conspicuous, and Sawyer because she didn’t know where she really fit in. There they found themselves sitting at the cold, black lab table exchanging silent smiles and curious glances. They said nothing to each other that class period. The teacher, Dr. Nelson, had offered the class a chance to switch seats as desired, because seat mates were also lab partners and that assignment was for the entire year. Eliza and Sawyer had just looked at each other and smiled; a silent acknowledgment that they were to be lab partners and neither cared enough to move. The next day, they were required to complete a lab assignment that was designed to acquaint them with the tools in the classroom as well as their new lab partners. It was scavenger hunt style, and for every item that was chemistry related there was a personal “get to know you” question they had to answer. Both being good students, they approached the work in a serious manner, and decided to knock out the chem stuff first. That part went smoothly, taking mere minutes as it was mostly review for the two, and then they moved on to the personal questions. Eliza scribed as she had witnessed Sawyer’s handwriting and found it lacking, so she had volunteered at the start. First question: What’s your favorite animal and why? Eliza started to write her answer down when Sawyer interrupted, physically placing her hand on the paper to stop her. 

“How am I supposed to learn anything about you, if I don’t get to know what you’re writing?”

Eliza, still a bit shocked at being interrupted, took a few seconds to respond. 

“I can read it aloud if you like, or you can just look over my shoulder.”

“Nah, I hate when people read over my shoulder, so I wouldn’t feel comfortable doing it to someone else. Just say what you write.” 

So Eliza began to dictate, “Eliza’s favorite animal is the penguin because they’re  
always dressed for a party, and the females go hunting while the males raise the chicks.” She looked up to see Sawyer smiling the first authentic smile she’d seen her make so far. It was infectious. “What’s your fav?”

Sawyer jested as she stalled to think, placing her finger on her chin and looking up as though in deep thought. “Standard house cat. They are lazy, outspoken, well fed, independent, and adored” she said nonchalantly. 

Eliza laughed. It wasn’t over the top, but it was audible and honest. Eliza wrote down Sawyer’s answer and looked up. Sawyer was smiling again. 

The questions, answers, and banter went on for the entirety of the class. The girls found themselves enjoying learning more about each other. Most of the questions were about their favorites or preferences regarding inconsequential things, but there were a few that were more personal than others, that required more care and courtesy. Who was the worst president and why? When were you the happiest/saddest? Are your parents married or divorced? If you could change something in the past, what would it be? Do you have a significant other? With these, the pair withheld judgement and shared openly, perhaps evenly intensely. Sawyer learned that Eliza didn’t follow politics much. She was happiest when she visited family in Hawaii every summer, and saddest when her father had unexpectedly passed away. That also answered her parent’s marital status and the one thing she would change from the past. Eliza was currently single, but had been “talking to” a guy from the magnet program over the summer, but nothing had come from it. Eliza learned that Sawyer was pretty liberal leaning and hated President Bush. She struggled to identify her happiest time, but was saddest in middle school because she was teased for being chubby. Her parents were divorced, she wouldn’t change the past because it was meant to learn from, and that she was single and feared always being so. 

Eliza’s curiosity got the better of her and she asked “What do you mean? Why do you think you’ll always be single?”

“Well, I mean I HOPE I’m not always single, but it’s a FEAR that I will be.” Her words came out nervous and serious. 

“Yeah, but why? Are you just afraid of being alone?”

“No, that’s not it. I...I don’t want to be alone, of course, but I think it’s going to be hard to find someone who’ll love me. For me.”

Eliza felt a stirring in her akin to sympathy, feeling bad that this girl, not even eighteen years old, felt so doomed in love already. She’d spent the last 45 minutes learning that she was pretty awesome. And funny. And smart. And kind. And...

Then she heard Sawyer complete her previous thought out loud, although barely more than a whisper. 

“It’s also sort-of illegal.”

Eliza wondered if she was even meant to hear that at all. She opened her mouth to say something, but was promptly interrupted by the bell. Class was dismissed and school was out for the day. Sawyer shot Eliza a tiny smirk, and left without saying goodbye. Eliza tucked their assignment into her binder, put her things away, and followed the rush of students out of the classroom. She looked for Sawyer in the hallway but there were too many students making their way to busses or the parking lot, and she couldn’t see the girl anywhere. She had to settle for seeing her in class tomorrow. 

On the walk to her car she repeated what Sawyer had said over and over in her mind. What kind of love was illegal? What did she mean? Eliza was definitely more sheltered than some kids her age, but did consider herself open minded. However, she was completely confused by Sawyer’s comments. She dwelled on them off and on throughout the rest of her day. She thought about Sawyer when she caught a glimpse of a photo of her parent’s wedding day, and felt a pang of sadness that her new friend thought she’d never have that kind of love. She revisited it while she watched music videos of sappy love songs on MTV after school. Later, as she read another chapter of her new favorite science fiction novel, she found herself thinking that if two aliens from warring planets can find love, then so could Sawyer. She kept trying to put a pin in it, telling herself she could just talk to her about it tomorrow. Her mom came into the living room at that time, and turned on the television. Her mom started laughing and giggling, so she decided to pay attention to what was on. The show was about a gay man and his female best friend. The characters were over the top, but also hilarious. She soon found herself engrossed and entertained. However, when the main character kissed his boyfriend in public, the on screen commentary got a little heavy. The boyfriend was not out of the closet and was fearful of the repercussions of being outed. The scene had her feeling something familiar, that air of sympathy that she’d been experiencing all day in regards to her new friend. She was afraid of not finding love, and this fictional character was afraid of people finding out how he loved. That’s when it hit her; maybe Sawyer was gay? Eliza watched the rest of the episode in silence, taking in the subtle messages beneath the show’s humor. 

Sawyer tossed and turned all night. Why had she made that comment? There was no need to. Why did she even admit how she felt about love? Why had she been so incredibly honest during that assignment? She was afraid that Eliza might ask more questions or already knew her secret. To clarify, she wasn’t afraid of Eliza having that knowledge, but rather Eliza sharing that knowledge. However, she was feeling nervous that Eliza wouldn’t act normal around her. She tried to brush it off because it wasn’t like they were best friends, but the reality of it was that Eliza could possibly know more about her than anyone else. Ok, Sawyer was scared. Before she knew it, her alarm went off and she hadn’t slept a wink. She tiredly dressed in her flared distressed jeans, pastel pink polo, and Adidas All Stars. Once at school, the day seemed to drag along at a snail’s pace. She was simultaneously anticipating and dreading her last class of the day; chemistry. Which meant Eliza. So when the sixth period bell rang, her stomach fell. Seemingly to the floor. She walked for what felt like hours to the science wing of the school, and made her way down the hall to her chemistry classroom. As she crossed the threshold, she saw Eliza digging in her backpack at their shared lab table. Sawyer swallowed hard and made her way to her seat. 

Eliza had done SO much thinking in the last 24 hours. Ultimately, she had decided not to bring it up with Sawyer unless she brought it up first. Little did she know her lab partner had decided to just address things head on. So when Dr. Nelson had stepped out of the room to grab supplies for their experiments that day, Sawyer turned to Eliza and quietly stated “About yesterday, the stuff about love, I’d appreciate if that info stayed between us.” Eliza could tell that Sawyer had been stressing about this, probably even more than she had herself. So she turned toward the blonde and made a point to look her in the eye. She wanted to let her know that she was being serious. “Sawyer, it’s ok. You’re you and that’s exactly who you’re supposed to be. I’m here if you wanna talk, but we don’t have to. But, just so you know, it’s ok with me and I won’t say anything.” Sawyer’s mouth was agape. She couldn’t even form the words she was feeling. She held Eliza’s gaze for what felt like forever, until she felt a warm tingle glide across her cheek. The tears were falling silently. The overwhelming emotions she felt in that moment had taken over. Eliza smiled and wiped them away with the sleeve of her hoodie. Sawyer smiled back. For the rest of the class period they sat in silence, exchanging only thoughtful smiles and supportive glances.


	2. Chapter 2

Eliza and Sawyer never put any expectations on their friendship, and despite feeling completely comfortable in each other’s presence, their interactions were still limited to classrooms and hallways. Neither girl thought much of it, and opted to just enjoy the time they did share with each other. Senior year seemed to fly by, without either of them realizing what the end of the school year would mean for their time together. So it came to be, in a blink of an eye, that they found themselves in a procession at their graduation. Dressed in caps and gowns, full of pride, they made their way across the stage just a few students apart. Both girls receiving honors. Both in the top ten percent of their class. 

Eliza didn’t really want to go to the Operation Graduation lock-in that evening, but she knew that it would be her last time ever seeing some of her classmates and the finiteness of it all compelled her to go. The theme was “Viva Las Vegas” and there were casino style games and inflatable obstacle courses. It was designed so that everyone walked away with a door prize, and she’d eventually leave with a dorm sized refrigerator the next morning. She walked in to the high school, for the very last time, and headed towards the cafeteria and gymnasium where all the action was at. She was admittedly overwhelmed in the moment, seeing the place that had been so structured and that had monopolized so much of her teenage years, decked out in neon lights and streamers. Several acquaintances said hello, kids that normally wouldn’t talk to each other were interacting, and it seemed as though everyone had unburdened themselves with the pressures of high school. At least for the night. Eliza made her way around the cafeteria, and tried her hand at some of the casino games. She had just won a hand of blackjack, when she heard a familiar laugh behind her. 

Sawyer, on the other hand, was thoroughly excited for Operation Graduation. After the ceremony, she’d hung out with one of her friends from art club who had shared some of her Adderall; they were gonna go hard all night! When she arrived to the party, she made her rounds, giving hugs and sharing a good memory with everyone she knew. Most were happy to see her, but also didn’t mind when she moved on to another group to talk and carry on. She must have greeted 100 different people, before she decided to partake in the festivities herself. Sawyer played some games, took out half the ladies lacrosse team on the inflatable obstacle course, and helped herself to some refreshments. She had stopped at the craps table and rolled snake eyes, laughing exuberantly as she collected her winnings. 

Eliza rested a hand on Sawyer’s shoulder to get her attention. Sawyer turned around slowly, still wearing a giant cheese-ball grin. Upon realizing who was greeting her, she pulled Eliza into a hug and decided for the both of them that they’d be each other’s “buddy” for the rest of the night. Eliza wasn’t sure what exactly that would entail, but Sawyer took her by the hand and made her rounds. Whenever Sawyer ran into someone she deemed worthy of a conversation, she made a point to introduce Eliza. At every game and activity she encouraged Eliza to participate, and engage with others. Sawyer pulled Eliza out of her shell until both girls we’re running around, hand in hand, with smiles ear to ear. The pair grabbed something to drink, and found a quiet spot tucked away from the main events. It was sometime after 2:00 AM, and Eliza was running out of steam. The Adderall was still serving Sawyer well, but she stilled herself to allow her friend to lean against her shoulder. 

They sipped on watered down punch quietly, comfortable in their wordlessness, and people watched for a good while. “How come we never hung out, like outside of school?” Eliza said, putting it out there into the world. Sawyer looked down, able to see the profile of Eliza’s face in her periphery, and breathed out “I don’t know. But I do know I wish we had.” Eliza lifted herself off of Sawyer’s shoulder, and turned to face her. “I don’t care if this sounds weird, but you know me best out of all of them” she gestured her hand towards their partying classmates, “and I guess that makes you my best friend.” Sawyer’s breath hitched, and she managed a smile across her face, but her eyes betrayed her and a single tear fell. Eliza wiped it away with the sleeve of her sweater, like she had those many months before in science class. Sawyer spoke softly, “you’re the only one that knows the real me. Thank you for being my friend.” Eliza smiled back, locking eyes with Sawyer, and breathed a small sigh. The feelings she was experiencing were a mix of relief, happiness, and regret. Knowing that she couldn’t go back to change the past, she decided to instead savor the present. They simultaneously pulled each other into an embrace that was genuine and intimate. Something only for them. They held each other for several seconds, long enough to express their gratitude for each other and to offer a sense of comfort. As they slowly pulled away, Eliza paused and placed their foreheads together. Their noses grazed each other, and they could each feel the warm breath exhaling from lips that were so close, yet so far apart. Sawyer whispered “I wish...” and Eliza softly replied “I wish too” and then the girls seemed to make a joint realization they were in plain view, and reluctantly pulled apart. Eliza laid her head down in Sawyer’s lap, and as if on cue, Sawyer ran her fingers through her soft dark chocolate tresses. It didn’t take long until Eliza fell asleep. Sawyer sat in the same spot, content to be her pillow, until the school administrators unlocked the doors at 7:00 AM. 

Eliza roused with all the commotion of their classmates filing out of the school for the very last time. She woke and stretched her neck, and realized she’d left a small drool spot on the thigh of Sawyer’s pants. She looked down, embarrassed, but Sawyer only smiled in response. Eliza stood, and offered her hands to pull Sawyer up. Once upright, Sawyer lifted her arms high and arched her back into a long stretch. Eliza could not help but notice her exposed midriff and how her breasts became so prominent when her back arched. Her stare was obvious, but she was grateful to find Sawyer’s eyes shut tight. They went to pick up their door prizes; Eliza’s mini fridge and Sawyer’s Office Superstore gift card. The girls carried the mini fridge out to Eliza’s car together and loaded it in. They said goodbye to one another and then came together for a quick hug. As they pulled apart this time, Sawyer placed the softest, tiniest peck on Eliza’s cheek. Her lips landed, ever so purposefully, halfway over the corner of Eliza’s mouth. Sawyer then walked away towards her car, while Eliza sat in her driver’s seat smiling like a goofball.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update took a while. Nov/Dec is always a really busy time of year for me. I hope you enjoy. Be well everyone!

Sawyer and Eliza existed somewhere between childhood and adulthood. They were standing on the precipice of a new journey, with choices to make that would affect their future selves. Neither girl had ever really speculated about a summer romance. Especially Sawyer. Yet here they were being thrust into feelings that could open up doors or derail established plans. Mere hours after the official end of their time in high school, the girls found their minds filled with more questions than answers. The topics that consumed their thoughts intersected at a single point; each other. They needed time to explore and research, and as it would prove, time was their greatest limiting factor. 

Sawyer had finally crashed after being awake for more than 24 hours. When she was eventually roused in the early afternoon, it was to the sound of guests arriving for her graduation party. She quickly showered, dressed, and headed out to greet the well wishers who were mostly extended family. There were gifts, pats on the back, and so many memories. An uncle spoke of a time when she was caught sneaking whip cream off pies on Thanksgiving as a toddler, while an aunt reminisced about a family cruise to The Bahamas. Physically she was present and attentive to her guests. Mentally she replayed the night before on repeat; wondering if she should’ve said or done anything differently. She didn’t regret kissing Eliza, but only wished she’d done it sooner. She thought about the statistical improbability of a summer romance being anything but that, however, she had also thought it impossible that she would ever kiss Eliza Clark. Sawyer allowed herself to fantasize about all the wonderfully probable things she could share with Eliza over the next three months. 

Eliza sat on her bed, knees drawn to her chest, touching the spot where Sawyer’s lips had been pressed against her earlier. She had only two things on her mind: the way she felt when she was anywhere near Sawyer, and if those feelings made her gay. Despite her expansive vocabulary, with a 1560 SAT score to back her up, she could not find the right words to describe how she felt in that moment. Instead she just imagined 1000 butterflies fluttering around in her belly, and all of them were burdened with tiny weights tied to them by little strings. She knew she needed to see Sawyer again and soon. Her mother interrupted her thoughts when she knocked on her door and poked her head in. She had come to remind her to finalize her packing list for Hawaii. Just like that, the butterflies vanished and all the tiny weights fell simultaneously to the pit of her stomach. She didn’t have all summer to figure this out, she only had a week until she left to stay with family in Oahu, and she wouldn’t return until the end of August. 

Sawyer woke up the next morning with Eliza on her mind. She realized she had never gotten Eliza’s number, but did have her AOL instant messenger screen name; SciFiBb. She logged on to the internet and sent a message to her friend: “Hey it’s Sawyer, can you call me ASAP? 317-555-8682.” She got an instant reply in the form of an away message. The metaphorical ball was no longer in her court now, and all she could really do was wait. It felt like the only thing she accomplished in the meantime was to pace the room and bite her nails short. To help pass the time, Sawyer decided she would make a mix CD of her favorite songs to give to Eliza, so she started a download on Limewire. Knowing that her computer would be tied up for hours forced her to try and focus on something else. Anything else. She laid back on her bed and tossed a small stuffed penguin up in the air several times, engaging in her own personal game of catch. Mid-toss, she became distracted by a telephone ringing, and the penguin landed on her face with a dull thump. Unfazed, she leapt from her bed and raced to the kitchen to beat her family to the phone. Her heart raced as she picked up the cordless phone to greet whoever had called, obviously hoping it was Eliza. There was a brief pause after she answered, and then she heard her voice. Excitement manifested as a flutter in her stomach, as she made her way back to her room with the phone in tow. Once safely behind closed doors, Sawyer continued their conversation.

“Hey, I’m so glad you called! How are you?”

“I’m okay, are you okay? Your instant message seemed kinda urgent.”

Sawyer had indeed felt a sense of urgency when she originally sent the message, but only because she really wanted to spend time with Eliza. She felt silly in the moment, and was relieved the other girl couldn’t see her cheeks turn red. 

“Uhm, yeah I’m totally fine, sorry if you worried. I just wanted to see if you maybe wanted to hang out...sometime?”

Eliza found it hard to breathe. She definitely wanted to spend every second she could with Sawyer. It was a need that rooted itself firmly in her chest, but the knowledge of how little time they’d be allowed, had temporarily stolen the air from her lungs. Her breath audibly hitched as she finally filled the pause in their conversation with three words: “I’m free now.” The girls quickly made plans to meet up at a local park within the hour. Eliza fretted about what to wear for the first time in a long time. She decided to go with a simple black cami paired with low-rise jeans. Something she could, and would, never wear to school because it exposed her midriff. The outfit was bold for her, but also cute, so she swallowed down her insecurities and decided to save being scared for when she had to tell Sawyer she’d be leaving for the summer. The drive to the park was short, however, the walk down the trail to where they had agreed to meet took longer. She eventually reached the clearing which exposed a picturesque duck pond with a small dock and ornate wooden benches that lined its shore. The only person there was Sawyer, who was sitting on the edge of the dock, dangling her feet into the water. She quietly approached and lowered herself to sit next to her. The other girl turned her head and smiled, warmly acknowledging her presence, and causing a stir of feelings inside Eliza. She discarded her shoes, and rolled up her pants, so that she could also dip her toes in the water. Like always, they sat in quiet contentment for a while, until Eliza felt a soft warmth graze her hand. She looked down to see that Sawyer had moved her hand so close to her own, that they touched pinkies. It was such small thing, and would have been discarded as insignificant had Eliza not experienced the soft warmth of Sawyer’s lips the day before. She took a breath and looked up to catch the gaze of deep blue eyes staring back at her own. 

Sawyer’s heart pounded in her chest, and her stomach was a twisted knot of nerves, yet she felt compelled to tell Eliza how she felt about her. She needed that knowledge to be out in the universe, so that if something were to come of it, they could get to that something as soon as possible. She looked away for a moment, bit her bottom lip, and then turned back towards Eliza. The sun seemed to make the traces of caramel in Eliza’s skin shimmer gold and highlight her delicate features. Sawyer swallowed hard and focused on Eliza’s crimson lips, while she all but blurted out “I like you Eliza...and I think you might like me back.” The crimson lips parted to speak: “Of course I like you Sawyer.” There was a pause which neither girl immediately filled; a quiet tension that hung in both of their throats. Sawyer spoke up first, saying “But...I like you A LOT. Like more than friends. In a way that I’ve never shared with another girl. Do you get what I’m saying?” Sawyer felt a gentle caress of her cheek, similar to the times Eliza had wiped away her tears in the past. She looked back at the crimson lips, which were smiling, and found them inching their way closer to her own. Sawyer closed her eyes and felt a pillow like warmth envelop her lips with gentle pressure. After a long moment, the girls eased their lips apart, and Sawyer heard the words she was hoping Eliza would say: “I think I understand. I like you A LOT too.” 

Eliza’s smile beamed in her emboldened state, as she silently hoped Sawyer felt the same tingle on her lips as she experienced when they touched. Eliza laid her hand over Sawyer’s and gently curled her fingers around the other girl’s slender digits. A new kind of tension filled the air between them; a welcome tension that was full of promise. Eliza wasted no time in kissing Sawyer again. Her lips were welcomed by a soft hand that palmed her cheek. Eliza had kissed a few boys in her 18 years, but nothing compared to the comprehensive body and mind experience that was kissing Sawyer. She felt simultaneously centered while her heart ran wild and free. Eliza didn’t even care that they were out in the open and could be potentially interrupted. The girls rested their foreheads together and breathed each other in. Sawyer smiled and softly spoke “I can’t wait to spend the summer with you.” The optimistic innocence that those words contained drug Eliza down like a cinder block. She immediately felt nauseated and panicked. Her “deer in headlights” look must have alerted Sawyer, who intuitively asked “What’s wrong? Are you ok?” Eliza closed her eyes and sighed deeply, “I leave in a week; actually 6 days.” 

“Where are you going?”

“Hawaii. Most of my family lives there. We go every summer.”

“How long will you be gone?”

“All summer. I only get back a couple days before I leave for Brown. My mom and I are going to road trip up to Rhode Island in a u-haul.”

Sawyer’s jaw fell, along with her hopes and dreams for a summer romance, as she sat there speechless for a minute. She steadied her breath, and nodded like she understood when in actuality she didn’t. She could not comprehend how the first girl that she had actual feelings for, who had just given her her very first kiss, could be leaving. She felt like the universe was teasing her with a cruel game of cat and mouse. Her blue eyes, wet with tears, stared helplessly into equally wet brown eyes. She strained a smile, kissed Eliza’s tears away, and then stood up. She felt like a coward, but she was compelled to run away. She wanted to stay, she wanted to spend every second she could with Eliza, but she knew that doing so would crush her and she didn’t know how to navigate that. In a broken voice, she whispered “I hope you have an amazing summer.” She meant it too; she wanted her to have a great time and to be happy. The tears were falling and they stung hot with the fresh pain of unrealized potential. She looked longingly at the girl she cared for, and then turned to walk away. 

Eliza was hurting in her own right, but did not hesitate to reach for Sawyer’s hand. It didn’t take much to stop Sawyer in her tracks, but the blonde still faced away from Eliza. “I’m scared too Sawyer. I didn’t know this was going to happen; that WE were going to happen. But if I only get 6 days with you, I don’t want to waste them feeling sad that we don’t have more. Please don’t walk away.” With that, Sawyer turned around slowly revealing her absolutely ruined face, and mouthed “Okay” while nodding through her tears. The two kissed with more raw passion than either knew they possessed, then took turns wiping away the hurt from their tear stained cheeks. Eliza wrapped Sawyer up in her arms, feeling her body as it relaxed into her embrace and as her breathing steadied. She made a silent vow to Sawyer, in that moment, to give her every minute she could of the next 6 days. She wanted to make as many memories as possible, and had every intention of doing so.

The rest of that day they spent clinging to one another and embracing what was left of their childhood. They played on the jungle gym and swung on the swing set at the park. The girls made sure to release some adolescent mischievousness by playing simple pranks in the parking lot. They flipped car magnets upside down and traded antenna balls with neighboring vehicles. Then they laid on their backs on the soft green grass and daydreamed out load. Eliza and Sawyer laughed and smiled and never left each other’s side. They went back to the duck pond to watch the sunset later in the evening, sitting impossibly close to one another and resting their heads together. After the day had faded into night, the pair decided they would go see a movie. Even though the film was entertaining, more attention was paid to each other than the screen. They sat in the back, held hands, shared popcorn, and stole kisses. At the end of the movie, Eliza asked if Sawyer wanted to spend the night. A simple text message later, to inform Sawyer’s mother that she’d be staying with a friend, and they were off to Eliza’s house. The evening was innocent; Sawyer found out she enjoyed being the little spoon, while Eliza slept more soundly than she ever could’ve imagined.

Time moved strangely in a dichotomy of slow motion moments that were solely for them, and as a blur where the hours turned to days that slipped past them. It was easy to convince parents of late nights and daily sleepovers, since Eliza was leaving soon and they were just “friends.” The girls went to an amusement park at Sawyer’s request, as it was one of her dreams to experience something exhilarating and terrifying while holding the hand of someone she cared for. Eliza introduced Sawyer to the world of Comic-Con and her favorite fandoms, which Sawyer enjoyed because Eliza lit up in a way she had never seen before. They cooked each other their favorite foods, shared their favorite movies, and exchanged mix CDs of their favorite music. The day before Eliza was meant to leave, the girls packed a picnic and drove an hour to the beach. Eliza wore a red bikini that had Sawyer staring; something Eliza noticed but didn’t mind. She also didn’t mind seeing Sawyer in her Hawaiian print board shorts and matching bikini top. They played in the sand building castles and playing frisbee, and spent a lot of time holding each other in the water. Wether it was playfully splashing each other, giving each other piggy back rides, or simply wrapping each other up in saltwater hugs, the girls tried to maintain some form of contact the entire time. They cuddled up with one another underneath their umbrella, and exchanged sweet kisses. When the sun began to set, they packed up and drove back home. 

The pair decided on staying at Sawyer’s house that night; their last night together. When they arrived there, they took turns showering, while they waited for a pizza to arrive. Since they’d been staying the night with each other for the last 5 nights, they were both prepared with a change of clothes and other necessities. Freshly cleaned and hunger satiated, the girls laid down next to one another in Sawyer’s bed. The television was on, but their attentions were focused on each other solely. Sawyer stared into Eliza’s beautiful brown eyes, and stroked her hair lovingly. Eliza hummed her approval, and drew circles on the small of Sawyer’s back. They didn’t speak; there was no need to fumble on words that would have them choking on tears later. Longing stares gave way to languid kisses. The marginal distance between them disappeared, as their chests came together and their legs intertwined. Kisses became deeper, with their tongues joining in on the sensual dance of their lips. Hands caressed soft flesh of backs and bellies that usually stayed hidden by shirts. Neither girl noticed the rocking motions of Eliza’s hips at first, until the heat of her passion reached her center and a moan escaped Eliza’s lips. Then, as if lightning had illuminated the night sky, a storm raged in both girls that was intense and unbridled. Eliza was grinding herself against Sawyer’s thigh, and Sawyer found her hands on her girlfriend’s hips, guiding them down toward her. Every gasp and moan added intensity to the pleasure they were creating and sharing. Eliza’s hands wandered under Sawyer’s shirt, cupping unrestrained beasts with hardened nipples. Sawyer let her head fall back, and she bit her bottom lip involuntarily, as a moan shook loose. Eliza rolled them from their sides, putting Sawyer on her back, and then topped the blonde. The grinding became more intense; the girls’ throbbing centers were pressing against each other, with only the thin fabric of light pajamas between them. Pajamas that grew damp with their mutual pleasure. Kisses became breathy. Moans became deeper. Sawyer countered every movement of Eliza’s hips, with an upward pressure from her own. The pleasure built up inside them to the point where the only thing that prevented them from floating away was the grounding gaze they shared. Then Eliza broke. She shuddered and gave into her pleasure, collapsing on top of Sawyer, and stifling her hedonistic moans in the mouth of her lover. Overcome by the sites and experiences unfolding on top of her, Sawyer came undone just seconds after Eliza. 

Neither girl had ever shared an orgasm with another person, and both were pleased that they shared that first with one another. They held each other in a sweaty heap, as they came down from their pleasure induced high, that left them feeling drowsy. They laid on their sides, facing each other, close enough that their noses touched. Sawyer spoke first, after a wordless but far from silent evening together. She simply looked over at Eliza, smiled faintly, and whispered “I wish...” before Eliza shushed her by placing a finger over her lips. “I wish, too.” They both wished for the same thing, but it didn’t need to be said. They felt each other’s longing to not have to be away from one another. Neither wanted Eliza to leave for Hawaii the next day. They exchanged sweet kisses and giggled as they took turns going to the restroom to clean up after their earlier escapade. Eliza found a perfect pillow on Sawyer’s chest, and Sawyer encouraged sleep as she ran her fingers through Eliza’s hair gently. It wasn’t long until Sawyer heard Eliza’s breathing even out in restful slumber, and then her tears began to fall. She laid still, as to not disturb Eliza, and let the tears roll silently. She had worried this would happen from the second Eliza told her she was leaving. But nothing could have prepared her for how intense the feeling of loss was, even as the person she wept for was asleep on her chest. She was thoroughly crushed, as she expected she would be, but knew she did not regret a single thing about the time they shared together. 

Sawyer and Eliza woke to the faint sound of a Nokia ring tone, which paused and then repeated, but this time slightly louder as they grew more lucid. Eliza grabbed her phone and saw she had several missed calls from her mother. Before she even had a chance to call her back, Eliza’s cell rang again. Her mom was upset that Eliza hadn’t finished packing and they were leaving that afternoon. Both girls’ eyes were glassy with tears, but both pushed through their emotions, and managed to get out of bed. They got dressed, stealing a few glances at each other, and unabashedly smiling at one another. Sawyer stopped Eliza before she headed out of her room, took her by the waist, and pulled her close. She tucked a lock of Eliza’s hair behind her ear, and then let her fingers graze her cheek. She leaned into kiss Eliza softly, slowly, and deeply. It was as if she was trying to imprint herself on Eliza’s lips; to impart upon her the sincerity and depth of her feelings before she let her go. Eliza recognized the emotion behind the kiss, and kissed back with matched intensity to let her know she reciprocated her feelings. When they separated, it was time for Eliza to go, neither girl knowing when they’d see each other next.

They had made promises to call and instant message as often as they could manage. In the days before unlimited talk and text, they knew long distance phone calls would require expensive phone cards, so they both saved up for every minute they could. At first their calls were flirtatious and full of longing, but as the weeks passed they became short and less enthusiastic. The time difference was also problematic; their messages often going unanswered for several hours at a time. The distance became frustrating, which led to pointless arguments that couldn’t be resolved. More and more time began to pass between calls and messages, and by the end of the summer they had succumbed to weekly email exchanges that seemed overly generic. Sawyer updated Eliza when she moved into the dorms at UT, and Eliza followed in kind when her mother dropped her off at Brown. To be honest, Eliza thought of Sawyer every time she opened her mini fridge, but left that out of her emails not knowing how it would be received. Weekly emails became every other week, and then monthly, until they just didn’t come. From either direction. One afternoon Eliza’s roommate was showing off her new laptop, and pulled up a website for a brand new social networking site for college students. Intrigued, Eliza joined the site later that evening, and almost immediately looked up Sawyer. Sure enough, Sawyer Charles - UT Austin, was already on the site. Eliza stared at her profile picture for a long while, before giving in and sending a friend request. She wasn’t sure if it would be accepted, but woke up the next morning with her very first Facebook friend. A feeling of warmth rushed over her, and she happily made her way over to Sawyer’s wall, a typed the words “I wish...”


End file.
